So Derby has been going really great.  I love the people I work with and I do a damn good job.  If I haven't mentioned (and I do'nt know if I have because I'm too lazy to look) I volunteered to help with Derby.  I've been going to scrimmages and learning different helpful positions and communication.  It's awesome.

I would like to skate more.  A plan has been devised to accomplish that goal, but it won't be implemented until next week.

It would be really amazing to live above a coffee shop.  All that good smelly coffee fog covering every surface of your life.  Caffeine overdose by inhaling.  Yum.

Work Christmas Party tonight.  I'm excited.  Excited enough to buy a new dress.  A dress I'm probably only going to wear this one time that shows a little too much boobage but I'm going to wear it anyway because it was $12.  Plus, my boobs have been lookin' good lately.  And if I distract people from my legs (which it's my least favorite "feature") mission accomplished.

Christmas has been good to me.  I'm over caffeinated as a result.  My beautiful and amazing niece headbutted me in the jaw which TOTALLY sucked.  Tears my have been shed.  I'll never tell.  Ok, yeah, I had to go into the bathroom for a minute to compose right during present opening.  That. Hurt.

And that was a random enough post to make me feel disappointed about my lack of blogging.  I swear I used to be good at it.  But I also used to go out and party every night.  So I had things to say.  Even that isn't true.  I have things to say.  I'm just not as good as I used to be at getting them on paper.  Err. Screen.  Routine!  That's what's missing.  And I'm afraid it's not going to develop on it's own.  I struggle with self discipline.  Ha! New Year's thingy.

I am so damn sad today.  And it sucks because I was stupid happy just yesterday.  So I'm sad because things were going so well and then they went to crap.

Gentleman Caller and I have been doing really, REALLY great.  A couple days ago we decorated the Christmas tree and we listened to holidays songs while doing so.  It was so awesome.  Plus he bought me a present early enough that he had to wrap it and put it under the tree.  I don't think that has ever happened.  It was super cool.

And then last night we got into a huge fight about victim-blaming.

Basically, he's a member of the feminist women are man-haters and are too sensitive.  I'm not in that group.  We've had some fights before, but last night just sucked.  He wouldn't listen to anything I said but name called anyway.  Seriously, it was "I'm not listening to what you're going to say because you're being stupid".  It was so horrible.  When he finally listened to what I was saying line-by-line, he agreed with it.  But not in the context we were discussing (read: yelling) so that means I'm moronic.  What?

I stopped talking to him. I'm not one who can just forget immediately, while he can just move on. He left late for work because he wanted to try and make up, but he sees that he did nothing wrong and I'm stuck on his horrible fighting tactics.  We're probably not going to talk about it again because there is no resolving.

And it sucks so much.

In other horrible news, one of his friends is freaking out because life is not all about getting what you deserve.  He's been saying really mean things to his family and friends.  I've been emailing with him, but he suddenly went radio silent.  Which is an improvement over him lashing out at his friends for daring to be happy, but still not the best.  I can't do anything about it, but I'm still sad.

I had horrible dreams last night.  In one that lasted FOREVER, GC and I were arguing violently.  Do I remember the subject, no.  Can I guess?  Maybe.

And in the second one, I was in a horrible mood.  HORRIBLE.  And my sister shows up to my apartment with my niece.  I grab my niece's hand and we start walking up the stairs when my sister starts messing with my sandal so I can't really walk upstairs normally and start to fall.  So my niece falls and almost slips in between the steps so she'd fall basically a full story into the basement steps below.  My sister caught her by the arm, but it was a near thing and really horrible.

Just a perfect set up for a bad day.

It was a very fast, long weekend.  I was really hoping for some more down time to help motivate me to clean my house, but alas, my house is still a mess.

Many things have happened.  Mostly involving spending a lot of money.  Like, Gentleman Caller bought a new (used) car.  It's beautiful and I love driving it. I also love that it's an automatic and I can drive it.

Lots of things going on with Thanksgiving, involving pie and pudding and shopping.  Of course shopping.  I'm getting closer and closer to being done with shopping.  Well, Christmas shopping anyway.  I always start way too early and at the same time bitch about how stores play Christmas music and decorate before Thanksgiving.  I think it's because I compartmentalize Christmas shopping away from actual Christmas.  Shopping causes too much stress with the money and the time and the hope you're getting just the the right thing...  So I usually buy early, pile it all up and then make wrapping presents part of the Holiday.  I like that way better.

Still more things with spending money.  See Harvey's had a sale today.  And I got a new purse, keychain and mini.  And I didn't have to buy it.  Because Gentleman Caller wanted to get me a late birthday and anniversary present.  He was broke during the actual events.  I'm so excited!

Also, my five extra pounds were loney, so I gained an extra five for the holidays.  Please make them go away.

OMG I DIE!  Seriously the joy that THIS caused me.  I tried really hard not to climb the Ryan Gosling bandwagon, but damn it!  I fell off the non-Ryan Gosling wagon right onto it.  I need to do some breathing exercises.

I bought new roller skates!  And they suck!  Which isn't actually a bad thing.  See, skates are damn expensive.  So why spend a lot of money on skates that you don't like because you don't know what you like?  So I'm going to beat these skates to shit and see what I like/don't like.  And then buy even MORE expensive skates with that knowledge.  Not that the knowledge will pay for the skates, because it totally won't.  Knowledge is stingy.

I may however, buy new wheels and bearings for my new skates.  Cause the wheels I want are $60, the wheels that came on the skates are $6.  That's a bit of a difference.  Quality my friends!

Perhaps I should sell my ice skates.  I took lessons in high school and advanced... not very far.  I blame the rink being 45 minutes away.  Or that it cost a lot of money and I didn't love it.  I liked it well enough, but people involved were sooooo damn snobby.  I put up with that when I was younger, but that shit doesn't fly now.  Ew, flying shit.

Subject change!  I went out to dinner with my family (minus one sister) and had a really good time.  We went to a steakhouse I had gift certificates for.  And thank goodness!  We racked up a $180 bill.  Good for us.  And it only cost in really dollars - $38 for tip.  I do feel bad for using soooo much in gift certificates in one night, but not bad enough to stop me.  I feel for small business owners, so I go back and forth.  What tipped me over this time was the fact that they might close.  And then the certificates would be worthless.

Anyway, I ordered duckling.  And it was literally half a duck.  It was tasty, but man it was work.  So I switched with my dad who ordered a stuffed pork chop.  That was so much better.  The sauce was caramelized, by which I mean it was practically caramel.  Sugar city, ticket for one.

I'm pretty sure this is why I've gained 5 pounds.

So I maybe, sorta bought some skates.  Well, not yet.  But I did order them.  And am anxiously waiting their arrival.  When I tried on a slightly-too-small pair, they felt awesome.  Maybe a little heavy, but so solid and like I could just cruise.  It was very exciting.

I have been driving to Madison sooooo much lately!  I love the town, it's amazing.  But driving there is so sucky.  And expensive.  And time consuming.  And encourages me to spend more money.  Between volunteering, doctor appointments and dental appointments, it really adds up.  And now I'm broke.

Good news tho!  My dentist guy for the tmj stuff is really, incredibly attractive.  Which makes it slightly more awkward when he's fitting headgear (omg did I feel STUPID) and shoving goo in my mouth for an impression.  Sounds dirty, and it was.  I was rubbing goo off my face for about an hour (he missed).

Hey, so it snowed.  And is very snowy.  With snow.  And the cold.  Lots of cold.  Do you need any cold or snow?  I have extra!

I'm so close to being done with work I can feel it!  And it feels like impatience.

I'm having a craniosacral massage tonight.  I don't really know what it is, but my massage therapist lady recommended it because my jaw is whack.  Yes, I have a crappy jaw.  And shitty knees.  Why stop at hip surgery, when you can secretly have the joints of an 87 year old?

Anyway, mystery massage.  And energy work. And something about fluids.  If I get wet, I'm going to be mad.  Do you know how long it takes to straighten these bangs?

That reminds me of a funny story about how I fainted while having mri juice injected into my hip socket.  Perhaps I've already shared it, but I don't have time to look right now.  So I'll look later and if I've told it before, I'll link it.  And if I haven't, you're in for a way-too-built-up treat.

Stress ball has been received!  And I'm squeezing away.  Hopefully it helps.  Actually, I think having my wrist screwed up has actually helped my downward dog.  You have to focus so much more on spreading the weight over the hand instead of putting it all on the heel of the hand.  Handy.

Halloween has come and gone.  I liked my costume, but didn't go/do anything really crazy.  My sister did have a party.  But I had been drinking earlier in the day and I think I had a bad bagel sandwich cause boy howdy did my stomach hurt.  So no drunken hijinks for me that night.  Gentleman Caller and I matched that night.  And on Saturday night when we went to the (QUIETEST!) bar, my buddy matched us.  It was a good time had by all.

I'm super excited for Thanksgiving.  I love baking.  I love pumpkin.  I love cranberries.  Oh November!  How I wish you were warmer!

Oh sheeze.  My depression/anxiety has been awful lately.  Awful for me, not awful on the general scale.  I do not compare my awful feelings to anyone else's awful feelings.  That would be too awful.  But yeah, been feeling pretty terrible lately.  And oh so cranky!  And impatient.  It's not been fun.  I'm doing what I can with vitamins and relaxing, but it's not nearly enough.  I do occasionally think about going tanning, but my skin color is classified as transparent.  I would get a sunburn on my kidneys.