I missed writing . But it's been a crazy couple of weeks.  Mostly at work, stress and yelling and stress and shit-talking gossip and stress and drinking and stress.  Which is pretty sweet.  I keep my calm in a lot of situations at work, only to lose my shit when I get home.  So I guess that makes me average.

Have I mentioned roller skating is the shit?  Because of aforementioned stress, a coworker and our man friends went drinking.  Well, the man friends went out to dinner, coworker and I were drinking (with occasional food).  So coworker (whom I shall name Jazzer) and I decided to go roller skating! But first, more drinking!

We both only fell once, which is kind of a miracle considering the way we were throwing ourselves around that rink.  We even did that hold-hands-and-spin thing in the middle of the rink.  We were definately the coolest people in there... Obviously.  I mean, we're in our late twenties, drunk and surrounded by teenagers.  Poor, poor childeren.  When it came time for the couple skate I had decided to attempt to find a new thirteen year old boyfriend.  I didn't thankfully, but I came up with the greatest pick up line for the occasion.  Ready for it?

"I"m fully developed."

Oh it made me giggle.  Drunkenly.

Feeling overwhelmed about the hip thing at the moment.

Last night I played darts with some friends, music came on and I wanted to dance. So I did. But I'm limping today. It wouldn't be such a bad limp (and really, I'm probably the only one who notices) but I went roller skating this weekend, followed immediately by grocery shopping in crappy shoes. I was already limping from that and that's when I tried to dance for three freaking songs. It's such a damn downer.

Mayo sent me a huge packet for pre-registering. That started the worrying about insurance paying for it. Various family members have had surgery where insurance said they would pay for it, but then it wasn't covered for various reasons not previously mentioned. 

Oh anxiety! Welcome home.

It's already going to cost me a bundle. I have to go shopping; which is normally a great thing, but not so much when my list involves shower benches and leg slings and toilet lifter thingies.

I'm going to miss softball. And swimming. And will be limited on fishing. And what about all the awesome parks around here? Oh I can sit in them.

Did I mention I hate sitting still? Gentleman Caller hates to watch movies with me because I constantly hit the pause button to run into the kitchen for water, run to the bathroom, forgot some crafty thing somewhere and need to find it right then. Jeeze, if when I'm sitting at my desk I'm bouncing my legs (more often the right than the left, because that has started to hurt too).

What can ya do tho? Other than get used to the idea and get over it. Wait and wait and wait for the damn consultation.

Waiting....

.....

.

Oh my gosh, I have such a store of energy building up inside me that I might burst with a bloody explosion!  Seriously, I don't know what's going on, but sitting still & doing my work while behaving is just not working.  So let's not do work!!!  It's only Thursday and I have a full day to do my crap-ass mailing tomorrow.

I'm currently re-reading The Poisonwood Bible and as a result such phrases as "Oh Jeeze!", "Oh brother!" and "Man oh man" are stuck in my head.  I also didn't get very much sleep last night so as a result, I have phrases bouncing around on repeat in my skull until I replace them with other crap.  My thoughts are kind of like an echo, where instead of thinking about something, I think about the sentences in my head describing what I'm thinking.  And it sucks.  I'd much rather just think, as the repeating my thoughts really slows things down. 

Crazy dream last night.  Details aren't around anymore, but it involved a protest, a frantic run down a gravel path with a lava pit on one side & a forest fire on the other, and a marijuana field (which was also on fire).

I think I was woken up by someone buzzing my apartment.  It was a very faint sound and once I was finally awake, I could hear someone outside the front of the building, shuffling around.  My assumption was they forgot their keys or something.  But the key to the building is the same as your apartment door, so even if they did forget their keys and I let them in, they wouldn't be able to do anything.  My apartment building does not come with comfy couches in the hallways, oh no my friend.  We're lucky the hallways are heated.  Problem was resolved when I went back to sleep without doing anything.

Ugh I hate not sleeping.  I pride myself on sleeping - on being able to fall asleep most anywhere.  Like on business trips where the boss is driving like a maniac & folk music is on FULL BLAST.  There are several music varieties that should not be blared and folk music is one of them.  I'm so not kidding when I say that I carry ear plugs with me now on trips.  Lesson learned.

Oh pain in my neck.  Literally.  Maybe it goes with not sleeping?  It pissed me off tho, cause I JUST went to the chiro.  And I don't wanna pay another freaking co-pay when I was JUST there.

Chocolate would help.  As would drinking, but I maybe overindulged the other week.  On drinking. I don't know how to overindulge on chocolate.  But no matter how much you like pineapple, don't eat wheatberry & pineapple salad, drink (lots) malibu & pineapple, and then eat hawaiian pizza to sober up.  You won't sober up.  You'll suddenly get the flu.  And no longer enjoy pineapple.  At least for a little while.

I suppose I might as well talk about this hip thing.  It seems like everything in my life is sort of revolving around it at the moment.  Plans for summer, any trips, sports, finances...

There has been pain in my hip for years.  We're talking like 10+.  It wasn't all the time and it wasn't always horrible.  But I remember it being sore walking around the mall in middle school.  Holy crap.  That's a long ass time ago.  Anyway, it hurts to walk.

So five years ago or something, I mentioned it to my doctor.  I had insurance at this point and thought that something could be done.  Xrays were ordered & nothing was found.  "Sorry, we see no reason you're in pain, so you must not be in pain."

This last year, I decided to try again.  I made an appointment with my new doctor who didn't know what to do, so she referred me to a local orthopedic surgeon.  He took more xrays, had me do an MRA (which in case you weren't aware involved a needle IN my hip joint to inject dye - IN MY HIP JOINT and yes I almost fainted) and declared a cartilage tear.  He didn't do the repairing surgery, so he referred me to ANOTHER orthopdeic surgeon. 

Doctor number 3 took more xrays (my lady parts are going to be destroyed by all the radiation) and said that the problem wasn't the cartilage tear, but that I have hip dysplasia.  And he recommends that I do a surgery that involves gouging bone out from behind the femur head.  Fun times here.  While he is calmly discussing this surgery, I'm getting more and more warm and decided to lay down on the examining table to still my beating heart. 

I'm getting really good at fainting.

Another referral.  Not for fainting, but for the hip-gouging.  No one in Wisco does this surgery.  So it's Illy or whatever silly nickname Minnesota has.  I chose Minnesota because I'm more familiar with Mayo Clinic than the other hospital.  Meaning I've heard of Mayo.  And Clinic sounds so friendly.

And that's the progress I've made.  A consultation appointment is set for early May.  Nothing to do but wait and think up some really good questions.  Thankfully most of my questions were answered by "Why do men have nipples?".

I heart contradictions.  See name of blog.  I'm a big fan of wearing a flowy skirt with pink toenails & hauling my kayaks around on top of my jeep.  What goes better with guns & hunting than ruffle camo underroos (to go with my neon orange sports bra).  While working with manly-men in a manly industry, I love going in super femine clothes, but then taking charge & running things the way I want it done.

So it makes perfect to sense to me why I love roller derby.  It is so damn tough, but the ladies flount their lady-ness.  Short skirts & tights while wearing heavy duty knee/elbow pads & hemets?  Heck yes.  That is what drew me initially.  For a long time, I hadn't seen it in person.  I made due with the magic of tv & movies.  A&E made a reality show featuring TXRD (Hades Lady was a Bi-Otch!), Whip It and some other documentary about the Rat City Roller Girls.

It wasn't until the second time I went to see the Mad Rollin Dolls that I fell in love with the sport.  It's a sport.  They train, they compete, they're in it to win.  It's not just a show.  But it's still a show!

I would love to do derby.  I want to block the jammer.  I want to knock women off the track.  I want to wear fishnets & skate around in circles.  And I want to win.

Unfortunatly, I have a hip problem that would make it very easy for me to tear all the cartilage in my hip & be crippled for a good while.  I'm sure I'll talk about it in the future.  So right now my plan it to skate.  To learn to be a really, really good skater.  Which I will use later in my career as a roller derby enthusiast.

I even came up with a derby name I like.  Lush O'Kelly.

So I've been outta the blogging game for awhile.  Life was busy while simultaneously boring; I saw no need to share.  Well, it's still boring.  And busy.  But damn it!  I'm going to write anyway.  I may not look back very often to ye olden blog-from-before, but it's amazing to read an old entry and realize that I've killed a lot of my memory.  Whoops.

There are plenty of things I could write to explain my life away, but that would take some of the fun out.  So here are the basics to get me going on my journal journey.  I'm a lady who is in her mid-twenties.  I have a gentleman-caller that has been around for 5+/10- years.  I live in Wisconsin!  And I love it.  I've lived elsewheres, but Wisco rocks.  (I do, however, HATE the current Goverment and feel very betrayed by it.)

As it is 5:00 on a friday, I'm goign to make like Fred Flintstone and slide on outta this rock quarry.  Enjoy your weekend.