Thursday, December 29, 2011

So Derby has been going really great.  I love the people I work with and I do a damn good job.  If I haven't mentioned (and I do'nt know if I have because I'm too lazy to look) I volunteered to help with Derby.  I've been going to scrimmages and learning different helpful positions and communication.  It's awesome.

I would like to skate more.  A plan has been devised to accomplish that goal, but it won't be implemented until next week.

It would be really amazing to live above a coffee shop.  All that good smelly coffee fog covering every surface of your life.  Caffeine overdose by inhaling.  Yum.

Work Christmas Party tonight.  I'm excited.  Excited enough to buy a new dress.  A dress I'm probably only going to wear this one time that shows a little too much boobage but I'm going to wear it anyway because it was $12.  Plus, my boobs have been lookin' good lately.  And if I distract people from my legs (which it's my least favorite "feature") mission accomplished.

Christmas has been good to me.  I'm over caffeinated as a result.  My beautiful and amazing niece headbutted me in the jaw which TOTALLY sucked.  Tears my have been shed.  I'll never tell.  Ok, yeah, I had to go into the bathroom for a minute to compose right during present opening.  That. Hurt.

And that was a random enough post to make me feel disappointed about my lack of blogging.  I swear I used to be good at it.  But I also used to go out and party every night.  So I had things to say.  Even that isn't true.  I have things to say.  I'm just not as good as I used to be at getting them on paper.  Err. Screen.  Routine!  That's what's missing.  And I'm afraid it's not going to develop on it's own.  I struggle with self discipline.  Ha! New Year's thingy.

Friday, December 9, 2011

I am so damn sad today.  And it sucks because I was stupid happy just yesterday.  So I'm sad because things were going so well and then they went to crap.

Gentleman Caller and I have been doing really, REALLY great.  A couple days ago we decorated the Christmas tree and we listened to holidays songs while doing so.  It was so awesome.  Plus he bought me a present early enough that he had to wrap it and put it under the tree.  I don't think that has ever happened.  It was super cool.

And then last night we got into a huge fight about victim-blaming.

Basically, he's a member of the feminist women are man-haters and are too sensitive.  I'm not in that group.  We've had some fights before, but last night just sucked.  He wouldn't listen to anything I said but name called anyway.  Seriously, it was "I'm not listening to what you're going to say because you're being stupid".  It was so horrible.  When he finally listened to what I was saying line-by-line, he agreed with it.  But not in the context we were discussing (read: yelling) so that means I'm moronic.  What?

I stopped talking to him. I'm not one who can just forget immediately, while he can just move on. He left late for work because he wanted to try and make up, but he sees that he did nothing wrong and I'm stuck on his horrible fighting tactics.  We're probably not going to talk about it again because there is no resolving.

And it sucks so much.

In other horrible news, one of his friends is freaking out because life is not all about getting what you deserve.  He's been saying really mean things to his family and friends.  I've been emailing with him, but he suddenly went radio silent.  Which is an improvement over him lashing out at his friends for daring to be happy, but still not the best.  I can't do anything about it, but I'm still sad.

I had horrible dreams last night.  In one that lasted FOREVER, GC and I were arguing violently.  Do I remember the subject, no.  Can I guess?  Maybe.

And in the second one, I was in a horrible mood.  HORRIBLE.  And my sister shows up to my apartment with my niece.  I grab my niece's hand and we start walking up the stairs when my sister starts messing with my sandal so I can't really walk upstairs normally and start to fall.  So my niece falls and almost slips in between the steps so she'd fall basically a full story into the basement steps below.  My sister caught her by the arm, but it was a near thing and really horrible.

Just a perfect set up for a bad day.

Monday, November 28, 2011

It was a very fast, long weekend.  I was really hoping for some more down time to help motivate me to clean my house, but alas, my house is still a mess.

Many things have happened.  Mostly involving spending a lot of money.  Like, Gentleman Caller bought a new (used) car.  It's beautiful and I love driving it. I also love that it's an automatic and I can drive it.

Lots of things going on with Thanksgiving, involving pie and pudding and shopping.  Of course shopping.  I'm getting closer and closer to being done with shopping.  Well, Christmas shopping anyway.  I always start way too early and at the same time bitch about how stores play Christmas music and decorate before Thanksgiving.  I think it's because I compartmentalize Christmas shopping away from actual Christmas.  Shopping causes too much stress with the money and the time and the hope you're getting just the the right thing...  So I usually buy early, pile it all up and then make wrapping presents part of the Holiday.  I like that way better.

Still more things with spending money.  See Harvey's had a sale today.  And I got a new purse, keychain and mini.  And I didn't have to buy it.  Because Gentleman Caller wanted to get me a late birthday and anniversary present.  He was broke during the actual events.  I'm so excited!

Also, my five extra pounds were loney, so I gained an extra five for the holidays.  Please make them go away.

Monday, November 14, 2011

OMG I DIE!  Seriously the joy that THIS caused me.  I tried really hard not to climb the Ryan Gosling bandwagon, but damn it!  I fell off the non-Ryan Gosling wagon right onto it.  I need to do some breathing exercises.

I bought new roller skates!  And they suck!  Which isn't actually a bad thing.  See, skates are damn expensive.  So why spend a lot of money on skates that you don't like because you don't know what you like?  So I'm going to beat these skates to shit and see what I like/don't like.  And then buy even MORE expensive skates with that knowledge.  Not that the knowledge will pay for the skates, because it totally won't.  Knowledge is stingy.

I may however, buy new wheels and bearings for my new skates.  Cause the wheels I want are $60, the wheels that came on the skates are $6.  That's a bit of a difference.  Quality my friends!

Perhaps I should sell my ice skates.  I took lessons in high school and advanced... not very far.  I blame the rink being 45 minutes away.  Or that it cost a lot of money and I didn't love it.  I liked it well enough, but people involved were sooooo damn snobby.  I put up with that when I was younger, but that shit doesn't fly now.  Ew, flying shit.

Subject change!  I went out to dinner with my family (minus one sister) and had a really good time.  We went to a steakhouse I had gift certificates for.  And thank goodness!  We racked up a $180 bill.  Good for us.  And it only cost in really dollars - $38 for tip.  I do feel bad for using soooo much in gift certificates in one night, but not bad enough to stop me.  I feel for small business owners, so I go back and forth.  What tipped me over this time was the fact that they might close.  And then the certificates would be worthless.

Anyway, I ordered duckling.  And it was literally half a duck.  It was tasty, but man it was work.  So I switched with my dad who ordered a stuffed pork chop.  That was so much better.  The sauce was caramelized, by which I mean it was practically caramel.  Sugar city, ticket for one.

I'm pretty sure this is why I've gained 5 pounds.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

So I maybe, sorta bought some skates.  Well, not yet.  But I did order them.  And am anxiously waiting their arrival.  When I tried on a slightly-too-small pair, they felt awesome.  Maybe a little heavy, but so solid and like I could just cruise.  It was very exciting.

I have been driving to Madison sooooo much lately!  I love the town, it's amazing.  But driving there is so sucky.  And expensive.  And time consuming.  And encourages me to spend more money.  Between volunteering, doctor appointments and dental appointments, it really adds up.  And now I'm broke.

Good news tho!  My dentist guy for the tmj stuff is really, incredibly attractive.  Which makes it slightly more awkward when he's fitting headgear (omg did I feel STUPID) and shoving goo in my mouth for an impression.  Sounds dirty, and it was.  I was rubbing goo off my face for about an hour (he missed).

Hey, so it snowed.  And is very snowy.  With snow.  And the cold.  Lots of cold.  Do you need any cold or snow?  I have extra!

Friday, November 4, 2011

I'm so close to being done with work I can feel it!  And it feels like impatience.

I'm having a craniosacral massage tonight.  I don't really know what it is, but my massage therapist lady recommended it because my jaw is whack.  Yes, I have a crappy jaw.  And shitty knees.  Why stop at hip surgery, when you can secretly have the joints of an 87 year old?

Anyway, mystery massage.  And energy work. And something about fluids.  If I get wet, I'm going to be mad.  Do you know how long it takes to straighten these bangs?

That reminds me of a funny story about how I fainted while having mri juice injected into my hip socket.  Perhaps I've already shared it, but I don't have time to look right now.  So I'll look later and if I've told it before, I'll link it.  And if I haven't, you're in for a way-too-built-up treat.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Stress ball has been received!  And I'm squeezing away.  Hopefully it helps.  Actually, I think having my wrist screwed up has actually helped my downward dog.  You have to focus so much more on spreading the weight over the hand instead of putting it all on the heel of the hand.  Handy.

Halloween has come and gone.  I liked my costume, but didn't go/do anything really crazy.  My sister did have a party.  But I had been drinking earlier in the day and I think I had a bad bagel sandwich cause boy howdy did my stomach hurt.  So no drunken hijinks for me that night.  Gentleman Caller and I matched that night.  And on Saturday night when we went to the (QUIETEST!) bar, my buddy matched us.  It was a good time had by all.

I'm super excited for Thanksgiving.  I love baking.  I love pumpkin.  I love cranberries.  Oh November!  How I wish you were warmer!

Oh sheeze.  My depression/anxiety has been awful lately.  Awful for me, not awful on the general scale.  I do not compare my awful feelings to anyone else's awful feelings.  That would be too awful.  But yeah, been feeling pretty terrible lately.  And oh so cranky!  And impatient.  It's not been fun.  I'm doing what I can with vitamins and relaxing, but it's not nearly enough.  I do occasionally think about going tanning, but my skin color is classified as transparent.  I would get a sunburn on my kidneys.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Have I mentioned my screwed up wrist? Cause it's screwed up.  Really, my joints are screwed up but whatever.  According to my chiropractor, my wrist joint is so loose, the radius and ulna are starting to separate.  Doesn't that sound fun?  I'm supposed to work on getting stronger with a stressball, but those are impossibly hard to find so I'm waiting on the internet to deliver one to me.

My weeks are so scheduled.  Like Monday night is taken up by so and so, Tuesday night is YOGA and so on.  It's a little unfortunate, especially none of the days are scheduled to spend time with Gentleman Caller.  However, we've recently started going on walks together.  At FIVE THIRTY IN THE MORNING!  That's early.  It's before he goes to sleep (works nights) and I can wake up a little (!) early for work and do it.  It just means I go to bed at 9:30 at night.  My social life has yet to suffer.  It's a good time for us to catch up on what happened the previous night and just chat.  I like it.

Why does office coffee taste so damn bad?  Even with my Pecan Pie creamer, it's just too close to nasty.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Whoa Blogger, slow down now. I'm just trying to get back into the swing of things.

So I'm doing an at home sales party without the party.  Frequently known as the "catalog party".  Ugh.  They're worse.  Because then YOU (meaning ME) have to do all the work selling.  And while I like this particular catalog, I don't want to sell it.  I think some of the crap is a rip off, but if someone else buys it - I could get it FOR FREE!  The free-ness motivates me.

My favorite purse company is having a Halloween competition.  Basically, you take one of their purses and make it into a halloween purse.  I spent most of last night on my first couple of attempts.  I think I have it mostly worked out tho, so I'll swing by the dollar store for some props.

I'm planning on making flash cards of the derby stuff I have to learn.  Overacheiver much?  Eh, it'll help.  And this way I'll have it down pat by the time I REALLY need to know it. 

[Pause for sudden need to create flashcard sized cardstock].

My mother and I spent Sunday sewing (and swearing in my case) a skirt for my halloween costume. I'm going to be a referee.  Not as fun as some of my other costumes in the past, but still cool.  I mean, I get a whistle!  And flags!  Which I still need to make... I'm excited for the flags.  A coworker is letting me use some bouncy balls that light up when they bouce.  So yay fun accessories!

Holy craft time Batman!

Monday, October 17, 2011

So I need to make this part of the routine.  And figure out how I want to talk about stuff.  That will make posting easier and probably more frequent.  Until then, let's catch up!

My hip has healed pretty well.  I can do a lot of walking and not feel the same burning tearing pain that was there before.  Gentleman Caller and I have been walking in the morning and I think it's helping.  It does still get sore, but I just rest it a little and it's usually fine.

The end of softball season rocked.  My team took third in our league's tournament, which is the BEST we've ever done.  I was asked to play in several weekend tournaments.  The first one was awful.  I was playing with a pretty terrible team, but I didn't know any better.  The second one was an improvement, but we still lost big time.  And the last one was so awesome.  So so awesome.  We didn't place or anything, but it was a pretty harmonious team and I played like a rockstar.  We're talking diving catches, massive scoops and insane stretches.  It was sweet.

My sister Gretel did tear her ACL and meniscus.  It's been pretty awful to watch.  She's a single mother and has no income because she can't do her job sitting.  Naturally, my family is doing everything they can.  And oddly enough, her daughter's father has stepped up some.  She's started pt and is almost off crutches, after almost three months of being on them.

I've started volunterring with derby.  So far, I have no idea what that really entails.  I will be officiating during bouts (keeping track of penalties, lineups and jam times) and doing some work with the public relations committee.  Wish me luck.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Feeling pretty sad today.  Yesterday too.  I know we don't know each other very well, but I'm going to tell you something that I haven't said to anyone else. 

I think I want kids.

Why is this such a secret you ask?  Because Gentleman Caller does not want kids.  Not even slightly.  I feel like if I told someone this, they would judge me, judge GC and decide our lives in their mind.  Plus all it would do is make them feel bad for me which I very much don't want.

But man is this sticking in my head right now.  Why now, you ask?  One of my very close friends just let me know she and her husband are expecting.  And that I'm not allowed to tell anyone yet (I'm the first and only of her friends to know, he's been blabbing everywhere). 

I feel like I'm suffocating with baby secrets.

Monday, August 8, 2011

It was a busy fun weekend.  And now I'm back to work... Le sigh.

We had a pretty big party at work on Friday.  It wasn't as crazy as it usually gets but there was wapatui, a dumpster pool and a homemade waterslide propped up on a forklift.  It's just how we roll.

On Saturday I helped at roller derby.  While I was a little freaked out about messing something up, it was pretty awesome.  Another lady and myself had the line up duty.  Basically, we had to write down the numbers of the people in the jam and mark their penalties.  It was pretty easy, but hectic!  The chick I was with was really cool and EVERYONE was really nice.  Even if some people didn't wear deodorant.  Hippie.  I think it's something I'd like to help with, but I feel like if I do mess up I'm going to go all emo and freak out.  Well, I'd have to go to an interview anyway.  So I can chat with them about it.

Saturday night, Gentleman Caller and I went on a date!  A date!  I was crabbyish and he was so goshdarn annoying.  And on purpose!  Which makes it more annoying!  But it was still a good night out with him.  Pizza at a local place and a movie.  Something about monkeys.  Franco out.

Sunday was nice.  I did laundry at the 'rent's.  Got to go swimming and play with my niece.  Did nothing.  Was perfect.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

If I were to name 3 things that I dislike about my hip surgery, they would be:

1) Slow recovery time.  It's easy to forget your body is slow and healing, so you do stupid things like try to shower and then faint nekkid in the bathroom.  So you compensate a little.  And then your body is just slow and you can't tell if it's because it's healing or if you got really, really lazy and out of shape while you were recovery.

2) Missing physical acitivies.  Yoga most of all.  But that's probably because I quit it sooner so that I could make room in my schedule for softball.  I also miss softball.  And my second softball team, where I'm not in charge and have to organize everyone even if my hands are shaking and I'm nauseous because I had hip surgery 4 days earlier.  I was sorta pushed into playing in my team's softball game last week because we were a lady short and I hated the idea of forfeiting.  And boy howdy, did that piss me off.  Rage was spewing out all day because I was forced into it and I wasn't ready.  Was not ready.  But thankfully, I feel a little more ready this week because we're a lady short again!  So I have to play!

3)  Random twinges of pain.  But this is healing.  I'm also sorta numb in spots on my thigh.  I do fear tearing shit up again and having to do it again.  Then again, if that happens, we're talking a different surgery completely.

Now, three things I like about the hip surgery.

1) Less pain.  Not nearly the same amount of intense and awful groin pain after walking.  I've decided the burning sort of pain was from the flap of cartilage that was stuck in the hip socket slowly being torn even more and more.  And really, that's probably what it was.

2) Less pain.  Radomn twinges of pain? Doable.

3) Less pain.  Burning pain? Gone.

Happy Birthday to me.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

My sister (let's just name her Gretel), whom had previously messed up her knee, messed up her knee again last night.  It's a lot worse this time.  She should have gone and gotten an mri the first time, but didn't want to pay for it.  Now it's incredibly painful and she doesn't have any help chasing her kid around during the day.  She's calling an orthopedic fella this morning.

It's my birthday tomorrow.  I've taken tomorrow afternoon off, but will probably spend it with my sister and niece.  We were supposed to go eat sushi and then pool party!  Now it sorta depends on Gretel's pain level.  Right now it's super high!  I was sort of late to the game of planning but that doesn't seem to matter now.

I'm not trying to sound emo, but I never have very high expectations on my birthday.  And no matter how fun the day is, I'm always a little sad.  I have no problem with the age thing, I'm pretty happy with how my life is going... But I just feel a little sad and act slightly more reserved.  Gosh this does sound emo.  Let me assure you I'm very capable of shrugging it off.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

I love having crazy dreams.

Gentleman Caller has a friend who recently was married to a person whose personality I, um, conflict with.  Negative Nancy and her opinions of your life would cause conflict with you too I'm sure.  My dream last night made me into one of her bridesmaids.  And while I wasn't happy about catering to her demands, I was pumped to wear an ice blue dress.  Ice blue makes everything worth it.  All the ladies and gents were supposed to be there two hours early, I was an hour later and then I left!  I went home to play video games with GC and a friend.  So when I noticed the time, I sped the whole way there and got there 12 minutes after the ceremony started.  Nancy had two people outside the ceremony room who told me that if she ever saw me again, she would punch me in the face.  In the face!

I would only be too happy to never see her again.

In other news, Harry Potter midnight show tonight!  I'm going to let my enthuastic (read: dorky) nature shine through tonight and dress up.  It's not that I'm in love with Potter, I like it just fine but I just want to dress up for the fun of it.  We're talkin pleated skirt, knee socks, HP shirt and track jacket.  Obvs I'm going with friends and family, they're pretty much down with the dorky.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Ohmygosh! Someone take my credit card from me!

I have gone on a spree today.  Maurice's had some stuff on sale (new dress-check, new cardis-check), I bought Gentleman Caller a birthday present (it was on sale!) and, oh yeah, a plane ticket to Denver.

This is on top of the four new shirts on Friday, anniversary present for Gentleman Caller and more Envirosax that were just toooo cute. 

Plus I'm covering all of rent this month.  Ugh.  That hurt.

But hey, GC and I celebrated our 7 year anniversary yesterday.  I had a post op doctor's appointment in Madison.  The big plan was to do the appointment (stitches out!), get dinner at my fav restaurant (Biaggi's) and come home for softball (not me, him).

Turns out when you eat at 1:00, you're not really all that hungry at 3:30.  We chatted about things to do and someone threw out going to Olbrich Gardens.  So beautiful!  It was lovely to walk around and he even held my hand once in awhile!!  GC is not big on pda and holding hands counts and yes it does suck, you are correct.  It was a really relaxing and just a plain ol' nice time.

Besides the fact that I was hanging out with my favorite person, I was so happy to be walking.  I'm 12 days post surgery and I barely limp.  I haven't pushed it because I am still healing, but Olbrich isn't small.  We walked most of it and I was just getting tired when we were back at the beginning.  But nothing hurt!  Which is freaking awesome.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Surgery was a success.  Well, insomuch as my surgeon went in there, cleaned it out, stitched me up and shoved me outta there.

Recovery... well I always underestimate how long recovery takes.

I tend to forgot how much my body dislikes being messed me.  So Monday when I was finally able to take a shower, it was a disaster.

To begin with, I had probably been walking around too much in the morning.  Gentleman Caller has been a GREAT help, but he works at night and sleeps alllllll morning.  I was left to myself on Monday morning and while it was ok, I maybe decided to move around toooo much.  And eat crappy food.

When it came time for the actual shower (SHOWER!!!) I was really excited!  I jumped (figuratively) in!  The second water hit my head, I knew it was a mistake.  But my curly hair was now wet and needed to go through the works in order to forgive me for daring to get it wet.  I managed to shampoo and get conditioner in, before I sat down in the tub and turned off the water.  I soaped up since I wasn't doing anything else.  And waited.  And got impatient.  I stood up, decided to just get it done with and get out.  I rinsed everything off, hurried to wrap myself in a towel, sat on the lidded toilet and fainted.

Fainted!  Like a delicate flower wilting after being exposed to too much sun.

Thankfully, I had insisted Gentleman Caller be in the area.  He says he caught me as I was tilting to the side, accidently kneed me in the hip which cause me to spasm or something and then wake up.  I basically ran into the bedroom and hung out on the bed for the next half hour.  GC was really sweet and helped me with my lotion, getting dressed and just hung out with me while I calmed the eff down.

It sucked.

So last night I showered with a shower chair.  And I could felt, physically, that if I didn't have that awesome blessing of a chair, it would have happened again. 

What is with my shower?  It wants to DESTROY me!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

I. Am. Bummed.

Disappointed would be too strong.  But I'm not exactly happy.  None of my family is available to drive me to surgery on Friday.  Gentleman Caller could, but would prolly kill us while driving due to lack of sleep.

So I'm sitting in my office tearing up a little.  Which is kind of silly, I realize.  But I've not had surgery before and don't know what to expect when I wake up.  I feel like I'm begging a ride from a friend, even tho several people offered.  Sincerely too. 

With family, you don't have to guard what you say or worry about what they think.  It's your family.

Who doesn't want their family with them when they're down and out?

Monday, June 20, 2011

Oh so very sleepy.  My sleep schedule has been off for over a week and this weekend didn't help things.

Friday went by pretty easily, minus the 5 minutes before 5:00 that my supervisor freaked out.  Such a treat to begin two days off.  I'm not going to lie, Gentleman Caller may have taken some attitude when I got home because of it.  Also because he's annoying when I'm trying to clean, but details...

Miss Candy wanted to go roller skating.  It is so damn HOT in the rink, both of us were dripping sweat by the end of the hour.

I had a wedding reception to go to on Saturday night.  There were also cupcakes to bake for Father's Day, more cleaning to be done and I wanted to fix my nails (black shattered left on for far too long).  However, my oldest sister needed help finding a dress for the wedding, so I spent a fair amount of time driving around with her.  She ended up not even wearing it that night.  I wasn't left me with much time after that, so I chose cupcakes over fixing my nails.  I hope my dad knows how much I love him.

The wedding reception was fun.  Apparently there was fighting and sad feelings I didn't know about going on with my sisters.  But whatevs, I made a new friend and had a blast.

Father's day was nice.  Simple.  We had a grilled turkey, sweet potatoes and fruit salad.  So yummy!  Apparently I was the only one to get my dad an actual unwrappable present, which was sad.  I'm sure they're going to get him something at some point.  I got him a bike seat.  Not the most exciting gift out there, but hopefully it will make riding more comfortable.

Hope y'all had a most enjoyable weekend.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Low quality tears.  I feel I could make a joke about that.  Don't worry, it's ok to make me cry, they aren't high quality.  Really though, wearing glasses sucks.  Everything is framed and I am kept seperate from life.  I feel like I'm viewing everything through a window and I tend to space out more because of it.

Maybe it's because I'm so tired.  I haven't had a night to relax at home in .... um ... a long time.  That was the plan tonight, but my sister wants to hang out.  And she's so busy and tired and dramatic all the time so I don't get to actually see her a lot.  I'm still deciding.

I pulled my quad again.  There wasn't very much time to warm up, so I just threw a ball around... Completely forgetting that my arm is usually fine (it's not like a first baseman throws the ball a lot) and that it's my legs that are usually effed up.  Ah well.  Plenty of time to heal when I'm sugeratized.

Monday, June 13, 2011

So I bought a new purse.  It is an addiction.  But a super cute one!

I did the derby 101 session again this weekend.  Sweaty!!!  Nasty sweaty that makes my sports bra (that isn't exactly new) bleed it's dye onto my tank top.  What?  Caustic.  I had a lot of fun and while I might not have chatted the derby veterans up, I did at least talk to them.  Which is a lot to ask of someone exhausted from skating in circles for two hours.

The plan is to buy new skates this summer.  A friend who is equally excited about derby and I are going to go to a shop in Mad.  I'm not going to lie- super excited.  I feel like I could have done better at the derby 101 if I were able to move my ankles.

I'm reading The Horse Whisperer.  Mostly it makes me want to add "er" to words that already end in "er".  It looks shadierer over there.  The picture that is greenerer looks better.

Friday, June 10, 2011

And I'm back.

Writing regularly is a challenge for me.  Who cares what I have to say?  The answer: Me.  I posted daily for several years on my old blog.  And I love, love, love going back and reading it.  So I need to remember to write here if only so I can one day look back and think "another boring day at the office".

A few fun things happened.  Softball started.  First week: we lost.  And I sprained my foot.  Second week: we won! And I pulled my quad, like, super bad.  Third week (this last Tuesday): we won!!  And nothing hurt, if you don't include the quad swelling up just a little bit.

I even started playing in my second team this week.  At first I thought they were going to ask me not to play, but instead was asked to play first base because the captain or whatever wasn't going to make it this week.  I had a really nice stretch, so nice that it pulled an outfield's groin just to watch it.  That team is super casual and everyone is at least a solid average player.  Plus, I'm not in charge so I don't have ten people asking me the same questions over and over again.  It's a nice time.

Another fun thing, I went to a derby 101 class/session.  It was sooooo challenging!  I went on a Sunday, after I pulled my quad on the previous Tuesday.  That was sore, but only getting up/kneeling down (which happened a lot).  Since I won't be able to actually try out this year, I stopped about halfway through.  That was hard, but I knew that injury-wise it was the best decision.  If skating every day were an option, I would do it.  Skating would be my cardio. 

If I had a cardio.

A friend wants me to go again this weekend.  I'm going to have to think about it tho, because having softball on Tues & Thur is going to make healing my quad difficult.  I haven't sprinted in awhile, just jogged/slow run.  I'm working on squats for strength and stretching the heck outta it. 

OH MY GOSH!  If you are an athelete or just active or just like stretching get one of these.  It's amazing.  And has lead to me being able to slow run on a super pulled quad.

One last thought.  Weather, you suck.  100 degrees for three days and then suddenly 50?  WTF?

Monday, May 9, 2011

So I kind of sort of scheduled hip surgery.

I called the Madison OS to get his opinion and talked to his nursing staff.  A very nice lady named Nikki called me back two days later and said we could go ahead and schedule surgery.  Well, that's his opinion then!  Which, I'm not gonna lie, is totally fine with me.  I'm super glad to skip the whole faint-inducing horror that is an intra-articular hip joint injection.  Gross.

June 20th.  Oh yes my friend.

In other not-so-fantastic news,work is a little painful lately.  So many projects got pushed and they're all finishing at once and I have to do it all.  Booo stress!  Yay overtime money! Boooo having to work on Mother's day!

Sunday was still a pretty successful day.  Spent lots of time with my mom.  Hung out with my crazy sister who has crazy dramatic relationships and actually had a lot of fun.  We played hearts and I was thisclose to running them.  Then my uncle nailed me with a king o' hearts.  Jerk.

Today, I paid off my credit card and am so close to paying off my car I can taste it!  It tastes like oil and grime, but I like it anyway. 

Due to the aformentioned paying off, I am having to convince myself over and over not to buy another purse.  I have something of a ... collection of Harveys.  I love them.  See my latest obsession?  Cute right?  Try to tell me not to buy it.  And I'll try to listen.

Friday, May 6, 2011

My sister snores.  Like SUPER LOUD!  And my poor niece had a cold, so she would just burst into tears and was generally a very unhappy baby.  Who needs sleep anyway?

Oh well, the Mayo appt was kind of a let down.  The OS there just told me the same thing the guy in Madison told me.  Except this guy told me to lose weight.  Ass.  Why do people assume I'm a fatty-fat-fatty?  I'm freaking strong!  Also, while I wouldn't mind losing, oh, 30 pounds.  I'm not going to put that much effort into it.  Thanks.

Mayo guy pushed the scope surgery and wrote a prescription for a steroid shot.  Then told me it was up to me what I did.  Oh goody.  When I got home I called immediately to ask the Madison OS's opinion.  I got a call back a yesterday telling me I was approved to schedule scope surgery.  So that's his opinion!

I'm excited something is going to get done.  I'm super glad I don't have to do the steroid shot, cause I passed the f out when they injected contrast into my hip for the mri.  That was not fun.  I'm a little bummed I'm not doing the big surgery, but only because I do not except this to fix the pain.  Due to it not being that bad of a tear, I'm assuming that the torn cartilage is a recent thing.  Maybe that's a false assumption, but whatever, I'm not a doctor.  And with the dysplasia I could very easily tear it again or just continue having hip pain.  And then have to have the big surgery anyway.

Happier things!  I'm in love with Mumford & Sons!  May they play on forever!

Friday, April 29, 2011

Ugh, blerg and argh.

Hip consultation appointment on Monday.  Wish me luck.  Well, wish me luck navigating a huge hospital complex.  That thing is big.

Work is painfully busy right now.  What with the upcoming tourist season.  Lots o' work to be done.  By the time noon rolls around I'm ready for a nap.

My hair is so pissing me off.  I ran out of my normal conditioner (Gentleman Caller likes to use A LOT more than necessary) and while the replacement is doing good things for my curls, it sucks for my greasy scalp.  So lots of ponytails, which tickle my neck which makes me itch which makes me turn all red and splotchy.

I ate like crap today.  Beef and bean burrito for breakfast with a side of carrot cake (sans frosting).  Then a donut.  Then another donut.  Then two chicken tenders.  And here we are.  I'm sure I'll have something really great for dinner.  OH!  We have a meatloaf in the fridge.  That is something great for dinner.  But I'm going to follow it up with peanut butter chocolate silk pie.  Yeah.....

Well on that happy note, I'm off to lift some weights.  Like my body.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Let me bend your ear
Ugh, I feel like I'm full of cliches today.

Someone has a case of the Mondays
I did not maintain my sleep schedule this weekend.  There weren't any movie parties like last weekend.  In fact, I'm pretty sure both Saturday and last night I stayed up to watch movies.  So I'm very sleepy this morning. Oh I am hardcore, thank you for noticing.

Throws like a girl
I'm working on setting up my softball team for the summer league.  Through a complex system of nagging and begging my team has a sponsor.  Which is so awesome.  I don't think we've had the same sponsor for two years in a row, unless you count the two or three years that Gentleman Caller and I paid for the entire team and waited for people to pay us back.  Yeah, we're not doing that anymore.

I'm trying to have enough people on the roster so we will have enough subs, but not so many that people get mad they're not playing.  It's a delicate balance and I'm sick of people yelling at me.

Snug as a bug in a rug
I'm sick of cold weather.  What happened to the beautiful sunny skies and 70 degree days?

The bigger they are, the harder they fall
OH MY GAWD SUGAR ADDICTION MUCH?  Easter candy is killin' me!  It's not even that tasty, but they're packaged so small that it's like "well, this is just a small piece".... 1000 pieces of candy later and I'm a heifer who can't get off the couch.

Worked to death
If only I had today off....

Friday, April 8, 2011

I realize there is a constant theme of frustration in my post.  Well, if you don't see it, just keep in mind I feel it.  I'm so damn frustrated.

Sigh.  It does no good to complain.  Even here.  Venting is no longer "venting".  It's more like a rice steamer, where letting off steam just cooks shit.  Not a great metaphor, but that's what you get.

In other news, I roller skated in my basement on Sunday night.  No one tell my apartment building manager.  I brought a broom and skated around a set of support poles.  It rocked.  I mean, I did crossovers for a good 20 minutes.  And that felt wonderful after a day of sitting on my ass.

I called an old friend last night.  It was really nice to chat with her because she was my closest friend in my life I think.  There is nothing we didn't talk about.  But she's never been good about calling and then she had a child, so she's REALLY not good about calling.  I was a little resentful of always having to make the first move so I boycotted.  And gave it up last night because it was awesome to hear her imitating a yooper orgasm.  You have not lived until you hear that.

Talking with her brought up some old feelings and I felt more like my old self last night that I have recently.  I think all the stress and crap was bringing me down more than I realized.  I did some cleaning and folded some clothes and danced to crap music and if felt like old times.  And it was pretty awesome.  Great night last night, doing nothing.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

I missed writing . But it's been a crazy couple of weeks.  Mostly at work, stress and yelling and stress and shit-talking gossip and stress and drinking and stress.  Which is pretty sweet.  I keep my calm in a lot of situations at work, only to lose my shit when I get home.  So I guess that makes me average.

Have I mentioned roller skating is the shit?  Because of aforementioned stress, a coworker and our man friends went drinking.  Well, the man friends went out to dinner, coworker and I were drinking (with occasional food).  So coworker (whom I shall name Jazzer) and I decided to go roller skating! But first, more drinking!

We both only fell once, which is kind of a miracle considering the way we were throwing ourselves around that rink.  We even did that hold-hands-and-spin thing in the middle of the rink.  We were definately the coolest people in there... Obviously.  I mean, we're in our late twenties, drunk and surrounded by teenagers.  Poor, poor childeren.  When it came time for the couple skate I had decided to attempt to find a new thirteen year old boyfriend.  I didn't thankfully, but I came up with the greatest pick up line for the occasion.  Ready for it?

"I"m fully developed."

Oh it made me giggle.  Drunkenly.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Feeling overwhelmed about the hip thing at the moment.

Last night I played darts with some friends, music came on and I wanted to dance. So I did. But I'm limping today. It wouldn't be such a bad limp (and really, I'm probably the only one who notices) but I went roller skating this weekend, followed immediately by grocery shopping in crappy shoes. I was already limping from that and that's when I tried to dance for three freaking songs. It's such a damn downer.

Mayo sent me a huge packet for pre-registering. That started the worrying about insurance paying for it. Various family members have had surgery where insurance said they would pay for it, but then it wasn't covered for various reasons not previously mentioned. 

Oh anxiety! Welcome home.

It's already going to cost me a bundle. I have to go shopping; which is normally a great thing, but not so much when my list involves shower benches and leg slings and toilet lifter thingies.

I'm going to miss softball. And swimming. And will be limited on fishing. And what about all the awesome parks around here? Oh I can sit in them.

Did I mention I hate sitting still? Gentleman Caller hates to watch movies with me because I constantly hit the pause button to run into the kitchen for water, run to the bathroom, forgot some crafty thing somewhere and need to find it right then. Jeeze, if when I'm sitting at my desk I'm bouncing my legs (more often the right than the left, because that has started to hurt too).

What can ya do tho? Other than get used to the idea and get over it. Wait and wait and wait for the damn consultation.




Thursday, March 10, 2011

Oh my gosh, I have such a store of energy building up inside me that I might burst with a bloody explosion!  Seriously, I don't know what's going on, but sitting still & doing my work while behaving is just not working.  So let's not do work!!!  It's only Thursday and I have a full day to do my crap-ass mailing tomorrow.

I'm currently re-reading The Poisonwood Bible and as a result such phrases as "Oh Jeeze!", "Oh brother!" and "Man oh man" are stuck in my head.  I also didn't get very much sleep last night so as a result, I have phrases bouncing around on repeat in my skull until I replace them with other crap.  My thoughts are kind of like an echo, where instead of thinking about something, I think about the sentences in my head describing what I'm thinking.  And it sucks.  I'd much rather just think, as the repeating my thoughts really slows things down. 

Crazy dream last night.  Details aren't around anymore, but it involved a protest, a frantic run down a gravel path with a lava pit on one side & a forest fire on the other, and a marijuana field (which was also on fire).

I think I was woken up by someone buzzing my apartment.  It was a very faint sound and once I was finally awake, I could hear someone outside the front of the building, shuffling around.  My assumption was they forgot their keys or something.  But the key to the building is the same as your apartment door, so even if they did forget their keys and I let them in, they wouldn't be able to do anything.  My apartment building does not come with comfy couches in the hallways, oh no my friend.  We're lucky the hallways are heated.  Problem was resolved when I went back to sleep without doing anything.

Ugh I hate not sleeping.  I pride myself on sleeping - on being able to fall asleep most anywhere.  Like on business trips where the boss is driving like a maniac & folk music is on FULL BLAST.  There are several music varieties that should not be blared and folk music is one of them.  I'm so not kidding when I say that I carry ear plugs with me now on trips.  Lesson learned.

Oh pain in my neck.  Literally.  Maybe it goes with not sleeping?  It pissed me off tho, cause I JUST went to the chiro.  And I don't wanna pay another freaking co-pay when I was JUST there.

Chocolate would help.  As would drinking, but I maybe overindulged the other week.  On drinking. I don't know how to overindulge on chocolate.  But no matter how much you like pineapple, don't eat wheatberry & pineapple salad, drink (lots) malibu & pineapple, and then eat hawaiian pizza to sober up.  You won't sober up.  You'll suddenly get the flu.  And no longer enjoy pineapple.  At least for a little while.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

I suppose I might as well talk about this hip thing.  It seems like everything in my life is sort of revolving around it at the moment.  Plans for summer, any trips, sports, finances...

There has been pain in my hip for years.  We're talking like 10+.  It wasn't all the time and it wasn't always horrible.  But I remember it being sore walking around the mall in middle school.  Holy crap.  That's a long ass time ago.  Anyway, it hurts to walk.

So five years ago or something, I mentioned it to my doctor.  I had insurance at this point and thought that something could be done.  Xrays were ordered & nothing was found.  "Sorry, we see no reason you're in pain, so you must not be in pain."

This last year, I decided to try again.  I made an appointment with my new doctor who didn't know what to do, so she referred me to a local orthopedic surgeon.  He took more xrays, had me do an MRA (which in case you weren't aware involved a needle IN my hip joint to inject dye - IN MY HIP JOINT and yes I almost fainted) and declared a cartilage tear.  He didn't do the repairing surgery, so he referred me to ANOTHER orthopdeic surgeon. 

Doctor number 3 took more xrays (my lady parts are going to be destroyed by all the radiation) and said that the problem wasn't the cartilage tear, but that I have hip dysplasia.  And he recommends that I do a surgery that involves gouging bone out from behind the femur head.  Fun times here.  While he is calmly discussing this surgery, I'm getting more and more warm and decided to lay down on the examining table to still my beating heart. 

I'm getting really good at fainting.

Another referral.  Not for fainting, but for the hip-gouging.  No one in Wisco does this surgery.  So it's Illy or whatever silly nickname Minnesota has.  I chose Minnesota because I'm more familiar with Mayo Clinic than the other hospital.  Meaning I've heard of Mayo.  And Clinic sounds so friendly.

And that's the progress I've made.  A consultation appointment is set for early May.  Nothing to do but wait and think up some really good questions.  Thankfully most of my questions were answered by "Why do men have nipples?".

Monday, March 7, 2011

I heart contradictions.  See name of blog.  I'm a big fan of wearing a flowy skirt with pink toenails & hauling my kayaks around on top of my jeep.  What goes better with guns & hunting than ruffle camo underroos (to go with my neon orange sports bra).  While working with manly-men in a manly industry, I love going in super femine clothes, but then taking charge & running things the way I want it done.

So it makes perfect to sense to me why I love roller derby.  It is so damn tough, but the ladies flount their lady-ness.  Short skirts & tights while wearing heavy duty knee/elbow pads & hemets?  Heck yes.  That is what drew me initially.  For a long time, I hadn't seen it in person.  I made due with the magic of tv & movies.  A&E made a reality show featuring TXRD (Hades Lady was a Bi-Otch!), Whip It and some other documentary about the Rat City Roller Girls.

It wasn't until the second time I went to see the Mad Rollin Dolls that I fell in love with the sport.  It's a sport.  They train, they compete, they're in it to win.  It's not just a show.  But it's still a show!

I would love to do derby.  I want to block the jammer.  I want to knock women off the track.  I want to wear fishnets & skate around in circles.  And I want to win.

Unfortunatly, I have a hip problem that would make it very easy for me to tear all the cartilage in my hip & be crippled for a good while.  I'm sure I'll talk about it in the future.  So right now my plan it to skate.  To learn to be a really, really good skater.  Which I will use later in my career as a roller derby enthusiast.

I even came up with a derby name I like.  Lush O'Kelly.

Friday, March 4, 2011

So I've been outta the blogging game for awhile.  Life was busy while simultaneously boring; I saw no need to share.  Well, it's still boring.  And busy.  But damn it!  I'm going to write anyway.  I may not look back very often to ye olden blog-from-before, but it's amazing to read an old entry and realize that I've killed a lot of my memory.  Whoops.

There are plenty of things I could write to explain my life away, but that would take some of the fun out.  So here are the basics to get me going on my journal journey.  I'm a lady who is in her mid-twenties.  I have a gentleman-caller that has been around for 5+/10- years.  I live in Wisconsin!  And I love it.  I've lived elsewheres, but Wisco rocks.  (I do, however, HATE the current Goverment and feel very betrayed by it.)

As it is 5:00 on a friday, I'm goign to make like Fred Flintstone and slide on outta this rock quarry.  Enjoy your weekend.